GOP Convention Schedule 
I just intercepted this schedule of events at for the first night of the Republican National Convention in New York, NY. I thought you folks might be interested:

6:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by the Rev. Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
8:30 PM Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: the government of the future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of forest fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer, led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration: How to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer-in-headlights stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: a drain on our nation's economy
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata
11:20 PM Second John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: the dangerous new cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer, led by Jesus Himself
12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

Videlectrix has a website 
Who knew? Well, I didn't, that's for sure. If you aren't familiar with Videlectrix than you aren't familiar with Homestar Runner. From time to time, when Strong Bad answers an E-mail, the brothers Chap make reference to a video game. Then, there is usually a way to play it. Well, every game they have is "made" by a company called Videlectrix, and apparently, they've decided to expand the joke into it's own website. And, it's been updated recently, because it has Peasant's Quest on there. But what's even more thrilling is that it has three games that aren't featured on the Homestar site. Talk about a bonus. Anyway, what are you doing still reading this, check it out. I highly recommend Hall Runner.

Sketch-a-face 
Woah. Have you ever wanted to feel like a police sketch artist? Or even one of those guy on the street who does charcoal portraits for $5? Well, now's your chance, with Ultimate Flash Face you get to pick every piece of the face you want to sketch, from hair, to eyes, to nose, and even adjust the opacity and size. It's really crazy. I tried to do myself, but then I wanted to see what I'd look like with a beard... and then a moustache... and then both, and then I looked really cool. But anyway, try it out, you'll be printing out America's Most Wanted posters in no time. (via MetaFilter)

SearchSpy 
How did I not know about this before? How did you not tell me about this before? It's the coolest, greatest, time-waster on the internet. It's SearchSpy by Dogpile and it lets you see what other people are searching for at this very moment. For example, currently, people are looking for:

what jennifer mean?
hack sbc email password
chronic vaginitis
male escorts in jacksonville fl
cartoon cereal characters
free dolphin photos
porn nude asian pics

I mean, why wouldn't you want to know what kind of weird searches people are making? Hey, if you watch long enough, you might even see a search for Buffalo Bandit, but that could take a while, so don't hold your breath. Anyway, enjoy it!

Metal Goddess 
What do you get when you cross Ozzy Osbourne with belly-dancing metal-chicks? I'm sure you don't want to know, but the answer is Metal Goddess. They are as much into belly-dancing as they are into metal, and thus I deem them metal bellies ("metal head" + "belly dancer" = "metal dancer" "belly head" "head dancer" "metal belly"). It's truly bizarre, but hey, that's what I'm here for. (via MetaFilter)

The Boyfriend Arm Pillow 
This is one of the cleverest inventions I've seen in a long while. The boyfriend arm pillow is just what it sounds like, it's all of the things your girlfriend wants out of you without you having to lose circulation. Works out well for both parties. And for you single-fellas, they have the girlfriend arm pillow, but I'm afraid what you might use that for. (via MetaFilter)

How to Fold a Shirt  
I said goddamn! I worked at the Gap for damn near three full years, but I was never this good at folding... and I was damn good at folding... but enough about me. Check out How to Fold a Shirt and it will literally knock your socks off. So bring an extra pair. (via Little Ray of Sunshine)

A vocabulary of the office 
Stumbling around the Web I ran into this little vocabulary of the office. It made me chuckle. Apparently it came through via E-mail, but I'd never seen it before, so I thought I'd show it to you. I hope you like it. MY favorite terms are Seagull Manager and Stress Puppy. Although if it were my list I might add a couple more terms:
DINKs Double Income No Kids. What most couples are before they become SITCOMs or WOOFies.

ASS JOCKEY A person who doesn't do any actual work but instead delegates it to the people below and then proceeds to ride their asses until it's finished.

Video games in Playboy? 
Thanks to Meghan to pointing this one out to me, but I just wanted to let the rest of you know. Playboy is putting topless video game characters into the October issue. There's an article about it on CNN Money. From what I can tell BloodRayne (cover art) is taking the cover in the first ever topless video game character in Playboy. However, it looks like Mileena from Mortal Kombat (fan art), Nina from Tekken (official Tekken profile), Luba Licious from Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude (official site), and Kurenai from Red Ninja (screen shot) will be there too. Although, I'm not sure of their levels of nudity. But that's not important, what is important is that now I have an excuse to buy Playboy: "I only buy it for the games, I swear!" In any case, also look for BloodRayne to make her MTV debut on September 18 at 9:30PM EST, lip-syncing Evanescence's "Everybody's Fool."